Yes, And...Thoughts on John 11

This week The Table community talked a little about grief.

I don’t mean to be a downer or make it weird but I have experience with grief. We’ve had miscarriages, both early and late, and in a lot of ways…. grief is grief. I’ve watched three different people, my dad, Dan’s mom, and Dan’s grandma, take their last breath. I’ve lost a dear friend at 33 and her daughter at 16. And, being in ministry I have been to an extraordinary amount of funerals

The text we read last week was about an unusual end of life and "funeral" story.

If you’ve seen The Chosen, I feel like it sets this part up really well.

Jesus and his disciples are kind of hunkered down because lots of people want to kill them.

Jesus gets word from his friends Mary and Martha that his friend, their brother, Lazarus is extremely sick. Please come.

He waits. Says it won’t end in death and God would be glorified.

Then suddenly one day he tells his disciples, Lazarus is asleep. We must go.

And they’re very confused…if he’s asleep why go now? And doesn’t Jesus know that people between here and there want him dead?

So Thomas says the quiet part out loud “Let’s go die with him then.”

17 On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. 18 Now Bethany was less than two miles[b] from Jerusalem, 19 and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. 20 When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home.

21 “Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22 But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”

23 Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”

24 Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”

25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; 26 and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”

27 “Yes, Lord,” she replied, “I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.”

Then Mary came out and a bunch of people followed her

32 When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34 “Where have you laid him?” he asked.

“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.

35 Jesus wept.

36 Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”

37 But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”

38 Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. 39 “Take away the stone,” he said.

You know what happens next…

Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42 I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.”

43 When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” 

Then the now un-dead Lazarus came out, still all wrapped like a mummy. 

Many more come to faith in Jesus but the Pharisees trying to kill him become even more set in their resolve because the more popular he gets, the bigger the threat.

When I read this passage, what I see is a lot of “Yes…and…”s. 

Yes…Jesus loved Lazarus, Mary, and Martha…and yet he waited.

Yes…Mary and Martha were upset Jesus hadn’t come right away….and yet they trusted him.

Yes…Mary and Martha believed that death wasn’t forever…and yet they wanted their brother with them NOW.

Yes…Jesus knew that he was going to raise Lazarus in about 5 minutes…and yet he broke down and cried.

Two things can be true at the same time.

There’s evidence of this throughout the Bible.

Romans 8:28-For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Psalms and Lamentations…God is good…but this really stinks…I don’t like what you’re doing, but I’m going to trust you.

When I think back to those stories of grief in my own life I shared earlier…

I’ve noticed this either/or tendency sometimes. 

On the one hand, I’ve seen the ability to push down grief as a sign of strength and faith. Modern, Western Evangelicals have insisted on celebration to be the only possible response to the death of a loved one who has gone home to Jesus.

On the other hand, I’ve also seen grief full of hopelessness, anger, and despair. A feeling of finality.

But can we just say that grief, like many things, is a “yes…and” scenario?

Spiritual maturity means being able to wrestle with complexities. This includes the realization that sometimes two things can be true at the same time. We can question and trust. Feel sad, mad, disappointed, and also hopeful?

Have you asked yourself if you have space for this?

Have you had a chance to think about the yes…ands…in your life?

Yes...something can be both beautiful and messy...

Yes…you can disagree with someone and still love them…

Yes…you can wrestle with doubts, and still hold onto your faith…

Yes…you can be upset about things that have happened to you and still trust God…

And yes…you can believe that Jesus is the resurrection and the life and still grieve for those who aren’t here anymore….

Let us be a people who can handle the tension together.