Banana Bread Church
One of the happiest moments in the past few months was when I sliced a piece of Grandma Anna's banana bread, converted to be free of the top 9 common allergens, warm from the oven, and gave it to Moses and he declared it to be good.
The second happiest moment might have been when I also sliced and served it to our friend, Lindsay, and she too declared it to be good, so we sent a thick slice home for her for breakfast.
Lindsay is one of the ladies from our church. She's currently a student who has gone through some tough stuff in recently years and lives far away from family. So, she's now part of ours. Our family refers to her as Auntie Linds. Auntie Linds gives us the gift of presence, and she shows up at choir concerts and theater productions and she's every bit as much my boys' Mama Bear as I am when they need someone to have their back.
Our church has normalized not having to deep clean or put on pants that zip and button (instead of just expanding) to do life together in each other's homes. It's not uncommon to pull together last-minute dinners, meetings, childcare and casserole deliveries. Two weeks ago, Lindsay and our family dined together at our mutual favorite taco truck and then Lindsay gave in and let the boys introduce her to Into the Spider-verse. So of course she had to see the second movie last Saturday too. And I served snacks. So many snacks. Shishito peppers and dip, popcorn, taquitos...banana bread...Because Lindsay is battling an autoimmune disease, she avoids gluten and she always knows, because of Moses, we are guaranteed to have something safe.
Back to Grandma's recipe...
Grandma Anna was born in 1904 to Russian German immigrant parents. And her banana bread is part of her legacy. The recipe is faded and handwritten and includes some less than clear instructions from someone who mostly baked by heart. It also includes buttermilk and Crisco. I know. But Crisco was wildly popular in the 1920's before they knew that it raised your LDL cholesterol. And I swear it's what makes her bread better than everyone else's version. Also, she lived to 89 years old, 14 years long than her average relative so...do with that information what you will.
Grandma would have loved my boys and she would have loved Lindsay. She exemplified hospitality and inclusivity. Family was a broad term that drew a large circle. And she knew how to balance traditions like making her yummy peppernut cookies, and accommodations, like when she mailed us a box of these peppernut cookies without the nuts or the gumdrops because I had braces and she didn't want me to miss out. So, I feel like she's ok with me altering her recipe.
I am pretty sure I have tried this and failed. I have a vague memory from about ten years ago, getting the "It's ok" fake approval from Moses only to realize he never had another slice. I guess I just gave up for a while. But something about these last two rounds has clicked better. I've seen what was working (ummmm.... the Crisco...) and what wasn't working (subbing applesauce for eggs, cheeping out on the gluten free flour brand, etc.) and I made careful, calculated adjustments.
I used the special Mariposa Flour Blend we ordered from San Francisco. I took the time to mix up EnerG egg replacer. I added a little vinegar to the extra cream oat milk to simulate buttermilk. I added chocolate chips because if all else failed...at least it would be chocolate because chocolate covers a multitude of sins. I added everything in the order Grandma wrote it. Oh...and Panzy's Mexican vanilla because it simply is far superior to McCormick. Panzy's is not paying me in any way for this comment...it's just the truth.
I feel like I have a lot of Grandma Anna blood in my veins. God is using so many different avenues to teach me about being radically hospitable and inclusive like Grandma, from our involvement with The Table house church, the books I am reading, the little things that fail or succeed (like converting banana bread) and the friends and advisors He's placed in my life.
I'm learning that...
1. Fair isn't Always Same.
I bought a children's book with this name, and I have come to realize it is the thing I tend to fight hardest for.
Maybe it would be "fair" according to some standards for my son or my friend, Lindsay to be left out if they couldn't eat the same thing as everyone else. But would it? Not the way I see it, especially because it's not a choice. I love that we're a part of a congregation where no one questions that our communion is always safe for everyone, even if some weeks that has meant ripping up a corn tortilla or gluten free pretzels if that's all we can find. In this very sacred act of "oneness" we make sacrifices for "just" these two people in our group.
2. We don't have to choose between tradition and inclusivity.
My Grandma's recipe for banana bread which has brought joy to our family for the past hundred years has not been erased because the milk came from oats instead of Holsteins, and the flour came from rice, potato and tapioca. The skeleton remains and the results are still magical.
Doing house church has helped me think this way as well. There are ingredients and measurements that should not be altered. We adhere to the ancient creeds. Every service includes fellowship, the teaching of scripture, prayer, and the Eucharist. But we sit on couches or the floor, not pews, we have no organ or choir or sound system. Sometimes a toddler holds the elements as we pass by for communion, and sometimes, as I have said, that includes a less conventional form of flat bread (like a corn tortilla) if that's what is necessary to include everyone.
But we also include some ancient traditions that may or may not be necessary-the singing of the doxology and ending with a benediction. Occasionally responsive readings or the use of the Lord's Prayer. Because it's important to us that the church holds its shape even if some of the ingredients need to be altered a little.
3. When you're not getting the results you desire, recognize that it's not always a lack of desire or motivation that is missing.
I truly wanted the banana bread to work out perfectly ten years ago when I first tried switching some things up. The flat, gewy-yet-gritty results were not a symptom of my lack of motivation.
As one of the pastors of this tiny little, outside-the-box ministry there are things I want for any congregation I am a part of. For as long as I've been in ministry, in two churches, for nine years, it's always been tempting for me to only ask, "How can I make people WANT this with me?" without looking at all of the factors that play into why we all do the things we do. A book I received at the coaching seminar I attended a month ago, Crucial Influences helped me see this more clearly. According to the book there are personal, social, and structural motivation and ability factors that influence our behavior. Sometimes we get stuck feeling like something just isn't pleasurable, meaningful or rewarding to someone without looking at whether there is something about their ability or the environment they're in that make it either impossible or harder.
Running churches out of our homes has caused us to ask simple but significant questions such as, "Are some people not participating as much in discussion because of the way we have the furniture set up?" rather than "Are they just ambivalent?" Are the kids getting restless halfway through prayer time because they just don't respect prayer time or is it because in their stage of brain development it is extra hard to comprehend what's happening and to hold little bodies still and quiet for such an amount of time. Or "Is it hard for people to attend an evening Bible study because of kids' bedtimes and lack of a sitter?" rather than, "Maybe they're just not serious enough about their faith." So, we come up with creative solutions. We shift chairs around. We plan a zoom study for after bedtime that can be attended from home. We provide resources that can also be used with the family at home or in a smaller, impromptu meet-up. Or we call and have those faith conversations over blue tooth on a long commute. We bring out quiet fidget toys or playdough for our family worship time, and we shorten the prayer slot when kids are with us. We balance time that they're in the service with time for them to also go out and move. We want church to be a pleasant place full of happy memories for them! We want an intergenerational church where each age group thrives in their faith together. It's important to find the roadblocks and structures that are getting between people and a relationship with Jesus or fellowship with the church and do our best to remove them. We need to look beyond the lazy-assumption (they're just not motivated) and instead try to see a wider variety of possibilities.
All of these things require some trial and error. They require looking past the easy answer. And a willingness to pivot more than once in how we tweak the "ingredients."
Obviously, it's all a work in progress. It took me ten years to finally get gluten free, dairy free, egg free, nut free banana bread right. Pastoring, mothering, friending...I'm sure that will take much longer. But I pray that the process will still be sweet.
Allergy-Friendly Version of Grandma's Banana Bread
- 3/4 cup of Crisco (she called it Oleo but use Crisco)
- 1 1/2 cups of sugar
- 3 medium bananas or 1 1/2 cup smashed
- Sub 2 eggs with 1 TBLS EnerG egg replacer dissolved in 4 TBLS warm water
- Sub 1/2 c buttermilk with 1/2 cup extra creamy Oat milk mixed with 1/2TBL white or apple cider vinegar
- 1 tsp vanilla (I like Penzey's Mexican vanilla)
- 2 cups of gluten free blend flour (I like Mariposa, but King Arthur works too)
- 1 tsp xanthan gum
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 3/4 tsp salt
- Sub nuts with however much Enjoy Life chocolate chips you enjoy
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