Here's to the Pastors

Yesterday I did my last Trunk or Treat with Journey of Grace. Tonight I did my first Trunk or Treat at the Table. They ran out of hot dogs (which is good...it means we had a great turn out) so I got in my car at the end and headed to Arby's.

On the way to Arby's I listened to a radio show where two licensed counselors discussed the mental health of pastors, and the difficulties they've faced especially these past few years. None of it was news to me. I'm not a lead pastor but I hold a district license and know and spend time with a LOT of pastors. 

I know every occupation has it's hazards. Any job has difficult days, stress, and challenges. But here's what I don't think people outside of the ministry realize...everything is personal. Maybe it shouldn't be but it is, or at least feels like it. Work/Home life balance isn't usually a thing. A pastor's entire life is a big tangled bowl of spaghetti, with absolutely everything "touching." Friends, family, work, church, and how we spend our free time aren't separated. When something's "off" in one of those areas, it effects all the others. It's not that pastors don't know that's what they're signing up for but in 2020 we all know most of those spaghetti noodles were not amazing for most of us. Yet there were just so many arm chair theologians.

When we're at our best we realize that the only affirmation that matters comes from God, and that the Holy Spirit isn't hindered by our weaknesses. But, especially in October, we have the opportunity to be Jesus' hands and feet as we lift up those who lift us up. I want to take a few minutes to mention the amazing pastors that have shaped my life.

Growing up I have fuzzy but also hugely significant memories of Pastor Hjembo and Narvesen at Dessert Rose, followed by Paul Szbody who bravely moved his enormous family across the world to devote their lives to missions in Africa. 

We've been blessed by many music pastors throughout our time at Journey of Grace/Mesa First. My dear friend, Wilf. And Rob and Lynne who are holding hands singing for Jesus before the throne in this very moment, and many more. I don't think anyone really has a harder job than a music minister. I know that's a strong statement, but they can easily get mistaken for a personal DJ, which makes doing their actual job challenging. But the ones I have known have stayed the course well.

My only children's pastor, Frankie Fugate, is still part of my life today. She has come alongside me as I found my footing in the children's ministry world. Recently, on a day when I felt uncertain and a little lost she even reached out to me and reminded me of how far back my calling really goes, and why I keep doing what I do.

I had amazing youth pastors-Rich Stoffan, Troy Teeter and Mark Culbertson. Rich prayed with me at the alter at Camp Pinerock when I asked Jesus into my heart in 7th grade. Now he runs Camp Pinerock and every single time I'm up there (which is a lot...) he greets me like a celebrity and tells me "I am so proud of you! Never forget it." Last week he drove down from Prescott for my dad's funeral, and somehow managed to say just exactly what I needed to hear. Bless that guy. Troy was in my life briefly but continuing to follow him on Facebook has been so rewarding, seeing how God has stretched and moved him and is using him and his family in Oregon. And Mark. Oh Mark. Some of my very best memories in high school were curated by this extremely cool, fun youth pastor. And some of the best parts of me were learned from him I think-that part of me that's a bit of a hippy-Christian who wants to think a little bit outside the box. And he definitely had a way of making each student feel special.

Ira Brown was my pastor for twenty years. He tells THE BEST stories. And he has a gift for knowing how to handle the most significant and emotionally charged moments of pastoral care. He officiated our wedding, he spent a lot of time at Phoenix Children's Hospital when Moses was battling melanoma, and he flew to California several times to be with another church couple when their daughter was waiting for a heart transplant there. He set the bar for pastoral care high. But what I think he did best was that he has never stopped learning, and thinking, and growing. This teaches me that spiritual development is ongoing forever.

Pastor David completely changed my life. He saw something I didn't see in myself and I am forever grateful. He helped me understand so much about our denomination's doctrine and polity and encouraged me as I began pursuing my district license and ordination. He gave me opportunity to develop and use the gifts God gave me, and I could always count on his positive feedback and encouragement in this. He and Brenda have been such good friends to my parents and so it made sense that they would begin to feel like family.

How ironic that my lead pastor these past two months, Kurtis, has been my friend since we were twelve. He and his wife, Emily have been me and Dan's closest friends since we volunteered with youth group while he was our church's youth pastor when we were in our 20's. It seemed strange and confusing to say the least to be leaving just as they're coming. But, I can see now that there are so many ways that the timing has been a gift. No one wants a stranger to do their dad's funeral. Kurtis was the right person to lead our family through this difficult time. But him and Emily have also been the perfect people to help us say goodbye because they too know what it's like to leave somewhere they have loved to pursue what God's placed on their heart. They also understand that tangled bowl of spaghetti I mentioned. One of the most important moments in all of this is when Kurtis said, "I think that maybe you feel like you're being disloyal by leaving. You are not. And you are not 'leaving the family.'" What a wonderful pastor.

This week I gain three pastors. These pastors are all bi-vocational, which still just blows my mind.

I don't know Pastor Alicia that well yet. I know that she is a powerful preacher of the Word. I know that she is really, really cool. Like if she weren't also so very kind I'd probably be extremely intimidated. Her and her husband renovated a bus that they move around to wherever the weather is best. Dan's on a fantasy football league (non-gambling) with them. And that's just the start of how cool she is...

Pastor Trevor is a dispatcher, and he is just that kind of steady you would imagine someone would have to be in order to do that job. Before I knew him I knew of him as that really great youth pastor at Tempe First, as Pastor Genell's son, and as that guy who Rachelle married. He is knowledgeable, and genuinely loves people enthusiastically and whole-heartedly. His wife, Rachelle is smart, strong, accomplished, energetic and seriously funny.

Pastor Ryan and I have always made a great team. We're a great combination of same and different. One thing I don't think that many people realize is that Ryan is not nearly as easily offended as I am. I think this is one of the most under-rated fruits of the spirit. It's one I need to work on. Ryan is a learner, always collecting new ideas. Some of the best books I've read were handed to me by Ryan and I'm pretty sure I've returned them all. Megan is one of my dearest friends. We're a lot alike in many ways, especially our sense of silly and our taste in shows and movies. She has checked on my regularly through the loss of dad, understanding things many cannot. I love this family a lot. 

These are just the pastors who have been 'mine'. This does not include the ones I am in a daily group text with, the ones I've traveled with for conferences, follow on Facebook, or have met or worked with from around the continent. I don't think that they're a "needy" group of individuals or any more fragile than anyone else. But, they are a group of people that often put themselves last, bottle their own emotions to 'power through', keep things to themselves and have trouble finding trusted friends. What do your pastors need most from you? Cards and beautiful words are a great starting point. But, what they need most is friendship. They need to know it's ok to have hobbies and interests away from the church. They need to be encouraged to find a space in which they can be vulnerable. They need to be sitting at Jesus feet more than they're teaching or serving (you wouldn't believe how many children's pastors especially can't remember the last time they sat in "big church" or "big class"). They need to know that you also love them for who they are not just what they do. I say this as someone who's had a front row seat many times. October's not over yet! And it doesn't have to stop there.