Happy Endings and New Beginnings
Today I did one of those hard things.
Today I stood up in front of the congregation I have been a part of for 30 years and shared my decision to resign from my position as the Journey of Grace Children’s Pastor, effective November 1st, 2022. I will be moving on to be part of the pastoral team with Ryan Albaugh, Trevor Cherryholmes, and Alicia Phillips at The Table, focusing on child and family engagement with the church in our East Mesa community.
The Table is a house church network under the same umbrella of the Nazarene denomination which I am already a part of and on the ordination track with. This means, among other things, that we share the same theology, our kids and teens still plan on participating in many of the big denominational activities such as camps, my hours still count towards ordination requirements, and...we know a LOT of the same people. This particular house church model functions as a bit of a hybrid church. Three Sundays a month they meet in (right now) one of two houses. Some ask if this is just like "life groups". Sort of. It's like if you smooshed a full church service with music, the Eucharist, and a sermon as well as a potluck dinner into a cozy little life group. Both warmth and tradition. Both casualness and ecclesiology. On the fourth Sunday all the home churches meet together in a bigger rented building for a more typical worship service. Then if a fifth Sunday comes around they volunteer for a work project together.
This big change has been one of the hardest decisions I have ever made, and is not one that I have made quickly or lightly. For some these kinds of moves are nothing. For many church attendance is more fluid, and their favorite saying is "the only thing that never changes is that everything changes." Not me. I've never moved cities, Dan and I have never moved houses, and I'm pretty sure he has the same pair of sandals somewhere he wore in high school. I am the person who stands in front of the soft serve machine deliberating way too long before eventually choosing "swirl" because I just can't decide. This is me. And if you know me, you will understand why this wasn't a whim.
And because Journey of Grace just installed a new pastor and that pastor and his family have been us Williams' closest friends for almost 20 years I want to share a little bit of what we believe the Holy Spirit has been putting on our hearts that led us to this moment.
This started back in 2018 when Francis Chan published Letters to the Church. Now, I do not agree with every single thing Francis Chan ever says or writes. I think that we sometimes have a different pair of theological lenses with which we sincerely work to understand the words in Scripture. However, what Chan writes, particularly the reasons for his shift from the conventional church to a home church network stayed with me. But at that point I was not ready to give up the comfort and familiarity I experience in this place that I can find my way around with all the lights off (BTW...I've literally done this dozens of times...the light switches are not conveniently located and it also made a great place to play sardines in high school). I love this quirky place...weird light switch situation and all...so I shelved that idea for later.
Sometime in 2019 my then colleague, Pastor Ryan, began sharing about the plans he had that he felt God placing on his heart with his wife Megan, Pastor Trevor and his wife Rachelle for a home church network, The Table, with a location about a block from my house. A BLOCK AWAY FROM MY HOUSE! If we were to go there I wouldn't have to move to California or even move my car when the weather was nice. I could hardly believe it! But, I still did not feel released for whatever reason. Maybe it was because I was comfortable. Or maybe because God had a purpose and knew what we were all about to go through. For whatever reasons, I kept right on doing what I do. When COVID hit and ministry grew discouraging, I still felt God saying, “Not yet.” And I’m glad He did. But when Pastor David resigned last March, once my initial panic passed, I felt perhaps this was God’s timing. Not in the middle of the transition...but maybe sooner rather than later. Of course, having one of our best friends interview as pastor caused us some doubt. But, despite all the wonderful things happening, we still keep sensing God giving us green lights and gentle nudges.
I need people to understand that this wasn't a quick or rash decision. Like I said, I don't do ANYTHING quickly or rashly. This is a decision we’ve been praying about and have come to very slowly over the past four years
I also need some of the people I love most to know this isn't me really saying goodbye entirely. We plan on our kids staying involved in Journey of Grace's youth group on Wednesdays, and it’s our hope to visit regularly and come to special events, just as the Albaughs have done. Because The Table meets Sunday nights, this gives us opportunity to sometimes just come and "be" with our friends at Journey of Grace.
I also need those I love to know that this does not mean I've lost my love for the people of Journey of Grace. This could not be farther from the truth. It has been my second home for over 30 years. They are part of my extended family and I love each one deeply. I'm so thankful to Pastor David and the families at this place for entrusting me with the most amazing job in the world these last six years.
This also does not mean that we don't love our new pastor and his family. This also could not be further from the truth. Pastor Kurtis and Emily have been two of me and Dan’s very best friends for almost 20 years. We absolutely adore their kids Malachi and Vivian. Malachi was actually at our house just last night, where we joke that he makes himself right at home! The Strunks and the Williams' have been there for each other in the best and worst of times. This is something that we never want to change.
When I look back at what we are leaving I feel sad, but when I look at where we're headed I'm more excited and confident. The home church is far from perfect. It has it's own kind of trials. And it's not the only way to do church. But it's very real and organic, and a step back into the roots of the Church. I love watching toddlers passed around between "aunts" and "uncles", and our tiny friend Paisley stand next to her daddy as he administers communion that had been stored in her refrigerator. I'm excited to see how the Church can focus in different ways when some of the practical stressors of the conventional church are taken out of the equation. I'm excited to feel more planted in the neighborhood and community I live in. And to help provide a place of healing, learning and worship for the many people out there who love Jesus but have been disillusioned by the "institution" side of doing church. Even if just for a season, I feel a need to experience and learn from what I believe will increasingly prove to be necessary and useful for the future of the church. And I am excited to bring to the table (no pun intended) some of what God's taught me during these past six years as a children's pastor.
I realize for those most directly impacted, this news might shock, upset or even anger some. But, in the end I truly hope that we can continue to operate as one big family of God, no matter what location we worship from. We love you all so very much.
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