This is Lifelong Learning

My dad came back home on Tuesday. He's different than he was before he went into the hospital three weeks ago. But he's...stable physically. And I think that's making all of us who love him feel a little more stable emotionally as well. 

It feels like we've moved into a different chapter, and it is one that makes me thankful that we live close by. This chapter might be short. And it might be long. A few weeks ago it seemed it would be short. At this moment it's hard to tell. But he's in his favorite place, with his favorite person right now.

I'm learning a lot about the body/mind connection. The way our mind effects our body and our body effects our mind. We are whole beings, with body, mind, and spirit, and the needs of all three never go away, and in fact might increase as we reach this chapter. It grieves me, as not just a daughter but as a pastor, the way I have not always fully recognized that. I, we, need to do better. Our love for God is shown by the way we love and serve those who can no longer reciprocate in the same way.

I'm learning that its common in this part of the story to disengage more and more, and for the list of things that bring pleasure or comfort to grow smaller and smaller. It's hard not to find this discouraging at times. I think God built in us a deep desire to make others happy...with that yummy dish, perfect gift or funny joke. But I also think God built in us a certain amount of dissatisfaction. And that for those who live a long life, there comes a time when the things of earth grow "strangely dim" as we prepare for, and turn our gaze towards eternal things. It might even be a gift. I'm learning, though, that silently holding hands, and kisses on foreheads made the short list.

Dad is learning too. Learning new ways to get in and out of the car, or get ready for the day. It's weird what a person does automatically that takes a lot more thought as mobility changes, and oxygen masks, and walkers start getting in your way. And I'm proud of him. We never stops learning. Not just about how to perform tasks in a new way. He's developing his soul. He listens to podcasts from my sister's church daily, and I know God is opening his eyes to newness even now. I see it in his face. I love that we never stop learning.

Mom is learning. She's been learning and teaching us all. Learning to slow rhythms, and be more present, to find the sacred in the mundane, and the crown of glory in the unseen. She's trying to figure out in which ways this chapter is different than the ones before it. The over sixty years of story that proceeded this one. 

My brother and sister, and I are learning too. We're learning to appreciate our love for each other. We're realizing we need each other and that we can weather honesty, and big emotions together. A little over a month ago, sitting near my dad at the big sixtieth celebration my dad said to me what a blessing it was that his kids loved each other and could work together. I always want to live up to that deeply important compliment. I never want to take that for granted, and I want to be more consistent in that with the many other brothers and sisters God has placed in my life through his Kingdom. 

My Psychology classes taught me that we never quit growing and changing. Life Span Development is exactly that. Development that spans an entire lifetime. Our worldview might be in place at 13 for many of us, but that's just a blueprint. I'm glad I'm not done. I'm a hot mess...it would be terrible if this was it! I'm convinced that there is meaning, and purpose and a potential for growth with each of our years, whether they be 4 or 84.