The Good, the Bad, and the Rest of Us

 

There's some truly bad apples out there. Like full-on, sold the soul, locked the heart's door and thrown away the key types. And they don't care. They've chosen this. Often they try to take over other people's countries, or become serial abusers.

 And I guess there's some really good guys out there too. Those daily living into their sanctified selves, with fruits of the spirit enough to share. I think Mother Teresa might have been one. Also maybe the retired Wesleyan pastor who has been providing pulpit-fill at our church right now. 

 But most of us, honestly ALL of us (Mother Teresa and my pastor friend included), are really pretty complicated. 

I'm more convinced than ever that we are all born equally as capable of good or evil. I do not believe, as some have taught, that God created just certain people pre-ordained for goodness, and others for the purpose of damnation. I believe all are loved, wanted, and redeemable. 

Yet we throw around the terms "Good guy, and Bad Guy" so easily it seems. I think it's natural to think this way when we are young and figuring it all out, but with age should come an ability to grasp complexity. This doesn't mean I am a true humanist or a universalist. Absolute truth exists. But we're not always good at recognizing it or even reacting to it properly. We are finite. And here are a few of the reasons I think "the rest of us" should be cautious about "Good guy/Bad guy" thinking:

1. We are BAD at categorizing. We make line graphs where we need Venn Diagrams, and use rulers where we need a compass. Long story short...we get it wrong.

2. We are all prejudiced in some way. You are. I am. We are. It's a default we slip into automatically unless we intentionally make an opposite effort. Because of this, we don't usually realize what criteria we are using.  Most of us want to believe that we define bad guys and good guys using well-thought out ethical principles. But, without realizing it, many of our "Good Guy/Bad Guy" criteria has more to do with familiarity. And who are we most familiar with? Those that look like us, live like us, sound like us...We are typically unaware of just how often we lean on this. But guess who's also most likely to commit a crime against us? Someone familiar. Someone who looks like us, lives like us, and sounds like us.

This is why I spend a lot less time warning my kids, and our volunteers for that matter, about "stranger danger" than teaching good, consistent "best practices" for every situation.

3. Sometimes "good guys" do bad things, and "bad guys" do good things and our dualistic thinking creates an enormous blind spot. We let "good guys" get away with bad things when we assume all of their intentions are pure because we've previously deemed them "good guys." 

And vice versa. Someone might have a history of some bad behavior, and so we easily believe false accusations about them. I see this often with school children. The other kids in the room know that they can pin the deviant behavior on the "bad kid" because the teacher won't believe him or her. It happens in the criminal justice system too. He was caught shoplifting once...so of course a jury might believe he could be guilt of murder too. She has a history of poor judgement so of course she would lie about what happened. Or would she?

Good guys. Bad guys.

When we fall into all-or-nothing thinking, we can miss even the most obvious of facts.

4. We start letting our Good Guy/Bad Guy thinking determine who we should love, care for, and help. This seems fair and logical right? The problem is, the Jesus I follow said some pretty illogical stuff like  "Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me." (Matthew 25:40-45). It would have been easier had he said, "The most innocent of these" or the "most deserving of these." I'm not saying that we keep handing out band-aids to those who need surgery, or we help in ways that ultimately hurt. We can work on "most effective" solutions together. But, When Jesus said to give water to the thirsty, take care of the sick, and visit those in prisons I think he literally meant it...and I don't think he's putting the pressure on us to sort out the good guys and bad guys first.

5. Even those making bad choices were somebody's baby once. When faced with someone who frustrates me, disagrees with me, and gets themselves into a horrible mess, I try to ask myself, "What if this was my baby?" Would I want someone to call them names? Ignore them? Dehumanize them? Wish evil for them? Or would I want someone to have empathy? Show kindness and grace? Look them in the eye, and say their name...the name I gave them when the doctor first slipped them into my arms?

And regardless...everyone is God's child. All are loved, wanted, and redeemable.