San Diego Part 1: Ministerial Candidate Workshop

 

Part 1 of our two part trip to San Diego is almost over and the real "vacation" is about to begin. For those who don't know, this weekend was a trip to Point Loma that is required of everyone in the COTN who is on the path towards ordination, sometime within the first two years of being granted a District License. It involves a lot of self-awareness. We learned that while a pastor's job is quite diverse, self-awareness is one of the most important markers of a sustainable time spent in ministry.  Some of our time was spent going over the results of hours worth of personality profiles and psychological evaluations with a clinician and attending workshops explaining the reasons these results are important. Then we took worships meant to equip us for preventable pitfalls, as well as some explaining the importance of the profiles, surveys and evaluations we'd filled out about ourselves.

Getting out of the house is never any small feat for me, with or without the kids. Combine my ever-present "normal for me" level of anxiety that climbs a bit when packing and planning, add on the fact that I have a kid who is allergic to everything. I'll spare you the list of reasons this complicates travel. And now there's COVID. The "what ifs" are endless. Oh, and the crippling pain of plantar fasciitis. Because I woke up one day and my feet were old and I couldn't wear cute shoes ever again. But somehow, we did it! nd as we grabbed lunch at a sushi place so close to the Ocean that the fish literally could have walked out of the ocean onto my plate, I finally relaxed. A little.

Because we'd been up since 4:30 a.m. and drove for 6 hours to get there, we were EXHAUSTED Friday night and much of that portion of the conference was a blur. But we met fun people who were "our people." By this I mean they liked Ted Lasso, playing goofy team building games, and eating the soft serve ice cream from the cafeteria. And most importantly they love Jesus and want to devote their lives to helping others grow closer to and more like Him. And approximately 50% of were women.

After a good (ok...decent...ok enough...) night's sleep we were energized by learning more about Strength's Finder. It was familiar. Dan and I took this assessment about ten years ago. My top 5 were Connectedness, Individualistic, Empathy, Input, and Developer. But there were some insights I had not thought about. My two biggest take aways from this were actually in teaching me how to extend grace to others different from me. We were reminded that God might put sand paper people in our lives on purpose-they prepare us for something beautiful by smoothing out some of our rough places. The goal is to change ourselves not them. Another take-away is that when we devalue our own strengths we're actually MORE likely to be judgmental of others. We might take for granted that "anyone" could do what we do, and we're more likely then to be critical of others who can't. Additionally, I learned somethings about focusing on maximizing our strengths rather than putting our focus on improving the things we're not good at. This just creates mediocrity in everything. I'd always wondered how this fits those tasks that just have to be done regardless. While it's often best to pair with the people who ARE good at those things, sometimes we can separate the strength from the task, and find ways to use the things we are good at to accomplish something we might think needs a different set of gifts. 

One of the most valuable parts of the weekend was our meeting with the clinician. Her feedback on my strengths, and weaknesses was right on. I wasn't sure. I questioned whether I'd asked the questions on the many profiles I filled out accurately. But Dan assured me I had. He said it pretty much nailed it. It was such a great opportunity for me to experience some self awareness, for Dan to get a window into my mind as well, and have the opportunity to hold me accountable for the suggestions she made. Hopefully I'm not the only one to leave with some stuff to work on. But ultimately it was reassuring, and affirming, helping me realize that God has given me some unique and useful traits and gifts, as he has us all.

What I think I looked forward to most was attending the Cultural Intelligence workshop lead by Pastor Christine Youn Hung. I first began following Christine on Facebook after her and her husband's contribution to our denomination's advent material a few years ago. It really spoke to my heart. Since then she's been a wise guide through the days of personal examine, listening and learning following the murder of George Floyd. God had been working on opening my eyes to an awareness that doesn't come natural as part of the majority in my context. But the wisdom of many of the members in the NOW movement helped me understand so much more than I was capable of on my own. Here's what I loved most about this workshop though. I have this longing on my heart for us to collectively live into God's transforming power to enable us to see each person's humanity as an equally loved, equally worthy and valuable brother and sister in Christ. To not just have some representation peppered into white circles, but rather give everyone a seat at the table, to be heard, to learn from those different from us, realizing they have something to offer just as valuable as we do. But more than anything to not watch those who look like me clam up, cross their arms, and check out or get defensive when words like "equity" and "inclusivity" enter the conversation. Because these are God's intention for the people of his kingdom. And sadly, that was the response I was bracing myself for as I sat down in this dear sister in Christ's class. But, Christine started the class with beautiful, disarming, unaccusatory words. Postures softened, and valuable thoughts and experiences were shared. It gave me hope. Hope that the disgruntled posters of rude Facebook comments don't truly represent us. There is so much work to do but it's not in vain because there is evidence that the Holy Spirit is at work among the people of God, teaching us how to to extend that "perfect love" to each other.

Finally, we attended a great class and discussion on boundaries and integrity. Sometimes I fear others see me as overboard in the area of boundaries. This assured me that not only am I not overboard but I could do better. This class too, was well worth our time, and probably an idea that needs revisited often.

Our day ended in the most beautiful way possible in the most beautiful place on earth in my opinion. We stood at the top of a hill watching the sunset over the ocean. We didn't worry about where we needed to be, or what we needed to do. We just joined the people who all seemed to pause to celebrate the end of the day together. Then as the sky changed colors we made one last stop at the Greek Amphitheater. 

Tomorrow, we will worship together, and then Dan and I will get ready to meet up with Daniel, and Moses, Grandpa and Grandma Williams. As fun as this has been I can't wait to share this time with them.