My Truthful Answer to "Why Bother?" and Other Questions I Overheard at the Coffee Shop

 

Before I start, I need you to know two things.

1. I love you. I love each of you no matter whether I agree with you, or what decisions you make. My disagreement might "feel" like shaming, but whether it seems like it or not, I do care and respect each of you. I know what it's like to have strong religious convictions that don't seem to make sense to others. I get that. I know what it's like to struggle with making the right medical decisions for my family and wondering which "expert" is really right. When we had to make the decision about whether to proceed with interferon treatment for Moses for stage 3 melanoma I prayed, I agonized, I googled. It was actually a controversial decision at the time and experts were in disagreement as to whether it was helpful or harmful. I wasn't feeling God clearly tell us what to do. If we decided to "watch and wait", would it be on me that I didn't do everything we could? If we decided to do the treatment and it hurt him, would it be on me for choosing it? I have since realized that God doesn't toy with us like that. Our loving Father in Heaven, isn't like the monk in Indiana Jones, guarding the Holy Grail, and with a slight smirk urging us to "Choose Wisely" so that we won't pick the decoy and be turned to worms. 

2. Second, I'm not speaking on behalf of any organization or people group. These thoughts are my own. And that's ultimately what they are...thoughts. If you seek medical advice from someone like me with a free blog...I'm praying for you. I am not a doctor or scientist. I have not devoted my life to the study of immunology. Most of us haven't. So, what I'm about to write is, admittedly, pretty anecdotal. Take it or leave it. They are just the words of a mom, wife, daughter, and believer.

I know that most people know for certain what they plan to do. And if that's you, and you are CERTAIN, I'd encourage you not to read this blog post. But yesterday I sat in a coffee shop listening to a group of men talk about how the "vaccines aren't even working if vaccinated people are still getting it", or how they claim "religious exemption to wearing a mask", and while I did keep quiet then (you're welcome, mom), I can't stop thinking about it. It's not the first time I've heard their talking points. These are two things I can speak to and if someone is confused and wrestling with this still, maybe I can shine a light on a few things.

Here is why I feel at peace with our family's decision to get the vaccine. And, yes, the short story is I hope everyone else who possibly can does as well...

EXPERIENCE:

Over the past year and a half I have watched many healthy, fit people, who eat right, exercise, get plenty of sleep, and even some who have no known pre-existing conditions...get very, very, sick, and even die. There are a million reasons why they might have caught this, or what contributes to why they get it worse than others...there's no shame in having gotten sick. In my experience doing all these great things hasn't been enough.

 The deaths that have happened are not "mislabeled flus." Ask a hospital worker. It is not normal for a line of ambulances to have to wait their turn in the parking lot to bring in their patients because of "flu season." Please, please, please, for the love of all that is holy, do not suggest that those who have worked themselves to death (sometimes literally) taking care of all of our loved ones in the ER, COVID floor or ICU are somehow exaggerating or lying.

In the past two weeks I've watched the Delta variant sweep in like a wild fire, taking down everyone in it's path. At least 12 people who I see on a regular basis have had it in the past couple of weeks. Two of them are my vaccinated mom (forgive me for throwing you into this) and my husband. This is anecdotal but here's what I keep thinking about.

1. For a year and a half, my husband has worked with COVID patients, face to face, inches apart, for a sometimes extended period of time at the hospital, where thankfully masks are still always required for both of them. This is my husband who before all this I used to complain was "always sick." However, I'm pretty sure he hadn't been sick once since the masks went on. Not once that I can recall since March 2020. While working with sick patients day after day after day. He was one of the first vaccinated back in January, and since then we've enjoyed a lot more freedom in our personal social life. It held through concerts, airplane flights, and parties. We'd even stopped wearing our masks for a little while unless they were requested or required. And then, about three weeks ago, he was experiencing "sinus issues." One evening he started to get a low grade fever, and because we'd just had Daniel tested (negative), he thought he should get tested too and it was positive. He completely isolated from us for about ten days and then was fine. Had he not decided to test, we would've chalked it up to bad allergies and went on with life. It's likely he was due for a booster. But regardless, I don't think this would have gone nearly as well if it weren't for the remaining protection from the vaccine.

2. Me and Daniel didn't get it. We are both vaccinated, and much more recently than Dan. Does this mean we won't still pick it up at the coffee shop (you can imagine my concern after THAT), or on the school bus? Of course we could! But if it weren't for the many in our lives who are not yet eligible for a vaccine, I probably would not be too concerned, assuming we'd also get a light case. But here's why it's odd we didn't catch it...You are most contagious right before you realize you have it, and then during the very earliest stages of symptoms. Dan happened to have off work the day before he was sick and we spent every minute of it together. The day he started feeling his "allergies were bad" Daniel was home and hung out with him in the living room all day. Then, I slept right next to him in bed for 8 hours. I'm pretty sure I even kissed this guy, drank after him, and snatched a bite of his leftover Calzone. We're dealing with a virus they say spreads as easily as the chicken pox, so I'm feeling confident that the vaccine at least makes a difference.

3. My mom was part of one of the first rounds of vaccines. She had pulled way back recently again knowing she needed to stay well for Dad's sake, and to be able to see her brother who is going through cancer treatment. We all have to make choices. There were a small handful of outings she chose to make an exception for but they could be counted on one hand. And then after two or three days last week her "allergies" were feeling out of control, she too started running a low grade temperature and then tested positive for COVID. But here's the really important thing about this. My mom has TERRIBLE asthma. Terrifying asthma really. We've watched a cold cause her to need back to back breathing treatments, be unable to sleep lying down, or cause us or dad to wonder at what point we need to go to the emergency room. Scary, scary stuff. And so for about a year we all felt like we were holding our breath too until she could get the vaccine, afraid that full blown COVID would take her down. And here she is a week in, still maintaining good oxygen levels, coughing at a minimum. We're not through yet but it's looking extremely hopeful and I have no doubt that the vaccine was a tool God used.

Along that line, for those who share my faith, here are my thoughts on that:

FAITH

As I have said, I really do "get" what it's like to have a conviction that others don't understand. And as long as we are willing to completely accept the sacrifices those convictions cost, I trust you to be talking to God about this. But here are the convictions I have-

1. The eschatology I follow is such that I believe God is at work in this world to restore not destroy. I believe he has created doctors and scientists with the intelligence and insight to be able to join with him in the work of restoring and healing. He is a God of love and compassion and his thoughts toward us are good. Progress is not the enemy of our faith. Science is not the enemy of our faith. It works with not against. It does not show a lack of faith to believe he can work through modern medicine. 

2. There is some concern that this vaccine or the mask mandates fit into the end times narrative as the sign of the beast or preparing us for a one world order. I'll admit everything about the past two years feels pretty apocalyptic. And maybe it is. But, it's important to also understand that there have been many different interpretations of the prophet Daniel and the book of Revelations throughout the history of Christianity. Some of them even match many of the events alluded to to the destruction of the Temple in 70 AD! Others have to do with when the rapture would take place, or whether we've been living these events already for thousand of years. The interpretation which some refer to when proposing the vaccine as a tool of the anti-Christ comes from a pretty bold version of the interpretation that has been most popular among American Evangelicals in the past few decades. I don't hold this view.

But regardless, I know where my heart is and so does God. I did not choose the vaccine because of vaccine passports, so I could eat indoors at a restaurant in New York, or apply for a certain job. I did it because I find logic in how it works and I respect the many years of education and research  involved in becoming a medical professional for those who have gotten us to the point in which this is available. I wanted to do everything within my power to protect myself, my family, and others, and to hopefully end this someday by creating fewer opportunities for these variants to form.  That's all. And what if that's what the doctors, and scientists want too? To protect themselves, their own kids and parents, and to someday finally end this.

THE SHORT VERSION:

Ultimately, don't make your decision just based on my or anyone else's blogspot account post. Pray, talk to your doctor, know your risk factors. I can't answer every question. But I can tell you what my experience is and what I know of God and his love for us. And if your question is "Why get the vaccine or wear a mask if they don't make a difference?" My answer is "I believe they do." If your question is, "Will you write my religious exemption letter?" My answer is no.