Grizzly Bears, Gun Shot Wounds, and Band-Aids
Psalm 139:23-24
There's this stuff I've been pondering. Stuff that's come up a lot lately. Things I want to say but only if I can find the most loving, gracious, and humble way to do so. Because it's something that I think needs to be said but I know I'm still learning myself. And I know that shame does not build bridges towards positive change.
So, here's the thing. There seems to be this common belief among many white people like me that there's only racism still because we still talk about it. Or, the REAL racism is calling something racist. Essentially, "if a tree falls in a forest, and no one hears it, does it make a sound?" Or if we close our eyes and stand really still maybe racism will just go away, like a lazy grizzly bear.
Before you roll your eyes, write me off, and leave this post, may I propose that I do have some first hand experience with the white perspective. In fact, I have been a white person my whole entire life. Maybe I can speak truth into this problem of "see no evil, hear no evil", because I've been there. I haven't always seen it. I don't always see it. I haven't wanted to believe it. I've been slow to admit that I can't know everything because I don't experience things in the first-hand way that my friends of color do. I will never know exactly how it feels to be in their shoes. I can't tell them what they're feeling. I can't tell them how to interpret their experiences.
Because of this deficit in understanding, I must constantly pray that I will be open to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. I need to be shown my limitations, my biases, and my self-centered opinions. Just like any sin, I want God to root it out so that I can be free of it's power. Every single day I want to resemble Christ more than I did yesterday and that means seeing the image of God in those around me. It means valuing their lives as though it were my own.
To do this I must learn to listen more than I talk. And that's not easy for me. You know that! I'm wordy!
But once we know better, we are morally obligated to do better.
And this is what I'm starting to recognize. Somewhere, at some point, I've heard an interesting analogy. It's like there were shots that were fired, some recently and some long before I was born. As recent as this past week, and as early as the August of 1619 when the first ship of stolen people were sold to people who looked a lot like me. Some of these shots fired have been very literal and unmistakable, and some a little more sly and harder to recognize. Yet those deadly wounds haven't been properly responded to, and the bleeding continues.
What would you do if you came across someone who had been shot? They are bleeding profusely. They say to you, "I'm scared. I'm dying. I have been shot. I just need you to help get me to the hospital."
How would you respond? What is your responsibility?
Would you say, "I didn't shoot you! Are you calling me a murderer?"
This bleeding person is not actually calling you a murderer in this scenario, they just want you to hear their cries for help and step in and do something.
Would you say, "I didn't see you get shot. I wasn't even there when you got shot. That happened before I even got here. Why should I have to help?"
How about, "This is America. We drive ourselves to the ER in this country. Pull yourself up by the boot straps!"
Of course you wouldn't expect someone bleeding out to drive themselves to the ER.
Maybe you'd tell them, "I don't want you to feel like a victim. We're just going to go on as though this hasn't happened, so it doesn't hold you back."
Is that how you would want someone to respond to you, if you had been shot?
What about, "If you'd just quit talking about your gun shot wound, it would just go away."? You might insist that you don't actually see gunshot wounds, because you are not a violent person. Maybe you have even had a friend who had been shot in the past, and it never even came up between you before. They just kept that wound to themselves.
Maybe you'd remind them that "Lots of people get shot. Your injury isn't the only gun shot wound that matters."
Ouch.
Perhaps, instead filled with well meaning compassion, you offer them a band-aid. But, it won't really fix the problem. You've not understood just how serious and complicated this problem is. You can't fix it on your own with a band-aid, even if you wanted to. Gun shot wounds don't just heal themselves with time, and surface level gestures.
And so the bleeding continues. We may not have fired the shots, but are we not responsible for the sins of omission in refusing to respond?
Please know that I can put myself in this script. I have messed this up over and over. In fact, I could be messing it up right now. But I have to do better, and I want the collective "we" to do better, because the Bible calls us to work through these kinds of things together, not alone.
I know it's unfair to illuminate problems without offering solutions. I wish I had those solutions. Big problems call for big solutions. They call for personal sacrifice, and uncomfortable changes. This is a surgery situation, and recovering from surgery hurts.
But I think it also starts small. It starts by letting people tell their stories, and not making them for crazy for how they feel. People want to be heard. They want to know their life matters.
I have to start somewhere.
I'll start with recognizing that not everyone experiences the world in the same way that I do.
I'll start by saying, "I believe you" and "How can we do better?"
I'll start by hurting when others hurt, and celebrating when they celebrate. By acknowledging each other's differences yet sharing one heart.
I'll start by surrendering our defensiveness, and instead having each other's back.
Because this isn't like a Grizzly Bear. It doesn't just go away if you stand really still in the same place
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