This is Dan

Photo Credit Ryan Albaugh

 

This is Dan. He is my favorite human. And it's his birthday. He's the guy who always makes me laugh, always roots for the underdog, and always wins at Scrabble. He wins all the games, actually. He's witty, patient, and knows way too much. At 41 he still plays Weazer, Cake, and the Beastie boys way too loud when he's alone in his car, still plays Minecraft with his boys, and still owns the same pair of sandals he owned in high school. He's kind of simple that way.

Dan and I met at a pool party with the college group at Red Mountain Community Church. A few weeks later we were sitting at a table with a huge group of friends at TGIFridays, and he went to wash his hands in the bathroom and came back with water down the front of his shirt. I looked at him and said, "Everyone who's cool pees their pants" (a line from Billy Madison with Adam Sandler). I think he's said that was the moment he knew. Soon after that he called me and said, "So, I was thinking...I like movies...and you like movies...do you want to go to the movies?" And here we are 20 years later, sitting next to each other every night, watching movies. 

We've been through a lot, as any couple has. Every important event in my life has his face in the memory. Signing papers on our house, holding our babies for the first time, or holding my hand on two separate occasions as we heard those painful words, "We can't find a heartbeat." We've prayed together in parking garages outside of hospitals. We've loved each others' parents as our own. We've explored a little bit of the world, from a haunted bed and breakfast in Jerome, to the backside of Niagara falls, or the bottom of the Haleakala volcano. We've eaten deep dish pizza together in Chicago, fresh boiled fish in Door County, Wisconsin, and hot pot in San Francisco's China town. God knew that I needed a foodie to do life with.

But, can I just say, this is been our best year ever? Yes. 2020. The same 2020 that's a dumpster fire in just about every other possible way? But I have never loved or admired this man more than I do right now. 

Starting back in January I could see Dan becoming the healthiest version of himself, especially mentally and spiritually, I'd ever known. He's fallen in love with God in a way that's been such an example to me and the boys. He made intentional good decisions and formed positive habits.  I know that God was getting him ready for what was about to happen. 

In March while the rest of us kind of flailed about in the deep end-over reacting, under reacting, Lysoling down our mail envelopes and holding our breath in the drive through lines OR wanting to run into the "burning building" for fun as though nothing were happening, he was my calm, steady, reasonable voice of caution. He saw first hand how serious things were and that we needed to listen to our scientists and doctors. But it didn't look like fear, but rather a confidence. And what did he do? Everyday he'd put his big boy scrubs and his N95 mask and head into the "burning building" as I saw it. It was his job and people needed him. As a nuclear medicine tech he wasn't in the kind of danger that the nurses and doctors in the ICU, or emergency room was. But, when he'd come in the house in between call-ins on a weekend and immediately pull off his scrubs and get a new clear pair I knew it had been a COVID kind of day. I had a new appreciation for him and the job he does.

During the months that followed we saw less and less of the rest of the world and more and more of each other. I no longer had to just shout directions as I ran out the door to the next event. We spent long mornings on our back porch talking and figuring out the world. We talked about social justice, and books we were reading, about God, the theology we were learning, and Bible studies we'd been tuning into online. We cooked together, had crazy theme nights with our kids, and of course, watched lots and lots of movies. 

I could have done without the murder hornets this year. The mask wars, and the toilet paper hording. I would've liked to hug people more, travel more and have seen Mulan in the theater instead of our living room where my boys kept interrupting. I would give just about anything to have not had to see people suffer or so many people die alone and unable to breath. But being "stuck" with Dan? And the things that some of the hardships produced in our relationship? I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Happy birthday, Dan. I love you to the moon and back.