My Reading List: Books to Steady Our Hearts in the Year of A Pandemic, Upheaval, and...oh yeah...an Election
This isn't an exhaustive book list. There were some books that were fun but not necessarily relevant. There were others that I have been able to glean some insight from, such as Becoming an Anti-Racist or Farewell to Mars that aren't necessarily for everyone. Or, in the words of our dear friend, Jesse, maybe "you're not ready for." and that's okay. About half are fairly specific to my Christian faith, and maybe you would not agree with the list overall. I'd be interested to hear what some of your lists have been like this season.
But, here is, categorically, my 15 most-recommended books for "such a time as this."
For Centering Your Heart
1. The Holy Bible
Maybe this goes without saying. But many of us forget. We reach for the words of celebrity pastors, self-help gurus and five minute "devotional thought" coffee table books first, without remembering that we can go straight to the source! What a gift we were given when Luther reminded us in 1517 of the priesthood of all believers to take responsibility in our spiritual growth. As we've seen we can each earnestly seek truth in the word and still come out with some different takes on certain things. That is why there are so many denominations. But, my best advice so far (I'm still learning) is to apply these three things-
A. Read and enjoy a variety of translations, especially if you don't have the luxury of knowing an ancient language or have ownership of the dead sea scrolls (I'm just kidding-kind of). I'm not one to think KJV is the only way. If you are, I still love you.
B. Learn about the history of the Bible- the one big story presented, the differences in genres, who authored the individual books, the culture and time in which they were first heard, the canon and how these particular books were prayerfully selected to compile into what now sits on our bed stand. Understand the ways in which the one who is divine used mere humans to help us know him better.
C. Read it often. Let it become so much a part of you that it is as natural and necessary to you as breathing.
2. Common Prayer: A Liturgy For Ordinary Radicals
This book brings me back to some of my more liturgical spiritual roots. Every day it gives a reading from the Old Testament, Psalms, and the New Testament. It also includes specific prayers for morning, noon and night as well as special situations. Each month there is a longer topical reading, and each one has been amazingly on-point. I keep hearing that a rhythm to our day, and spiritual disciplines are essential to our mental health and well-being during these strange times so I have clung especially close to this book these past few months. The world hadn't fallen apart yet when I started this in January. But here we are.
For Healthy Relationships
This is the thing I didn't see coming about this year. I knew that self-care might be challenging. I knew that we might experience the death of loved ones, and possibly face sickness ourselves. I knew that economically things would be tough and we'd have to do whatever we could to help each other out. But the relationship struggles- being "broken up with" by friends, feeling at odds over problems and ideas that didn't even exist a year ago-that completely swept the rug out from under my feet. I haven't gotten this all fixed and figured out but here are a few books that have helped-
3. Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell
Thanks Ryan. This one was great. This went into a lot of news stories you might be familiar with. And through it we see that we often get it wrong. A LOT. It was a little disorienting to realize that we never really know ANYBODY. And even in the face of evidence we often succumb to cognitive dissonance. We simply can't believe that that "nice guy" is really a Cuban spy or that smug American girl in an Italian prison wasn't a murderer after all. And our go-to tools for determining truth from fiction, simply aren't very accurate. But, while this did alarm me a little, in the end the book shows that overall we're still better being the type of people who give others the benefit of the doubt and believe the best in most situations. We're far worse off letting this doubt consume us and force us into a life of paranoia.
4. Non-Violent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D
I started reading this once before but recently picked it back up. Because I need it. I'd urge you to read it too, no matter who you are or what you think.
As a woman, I, and I think many of us, have learned that being a peacemaker is keeping our head down, keeping our opinions to ourselves, and just smiling and nodding. But we're learning that "silence is violence" and sometimes peace means creating a more just world, which we can't do if we keep our heads in the sand. But how do we have these important conversations in a way that build bridges instead of walls? How can we keep the conversation going rather than shutting people down?
This book offers tremendous advice. So far the cliff notes version is:
A. No name calling.
I can't even tell you how I cringe when I see names and labels that define an entire complex human being as one thought they've had or action they've taken. There's a difference between saying "You have not followed the safety protocol that we've posted" and "You're selfish." Saying "That person is a criminal" is not as accurate as saying "That person has a criminal record", or "That person has been convicted of a crime." We can not sum up the whole of a person in one noun, adjective or verb, and when we do that person either becomes defensive or will internalize and live into that negativity. It also dehumanizes and gives us license to treat them poorly.
B. No one can make you feel something. It's important to share our feelings but we open up more discussion when we own those feelings.
C. Over-Generalizing.
You always. You never. Nobody ever. Be specific. "Last week you did not call when you said you would. This also happened yesterday. I feel sad because I enjoy our conversations" Always, and Never are typically not true nor do they inspire change.
D. Not Clarifying What We Need.
Instead of giving my family a list of all the things I do for them on a daily basis and then ending it with "You make me feel like a maid" in hopes that this will turn things around I can say, "I feel overwhelmed. I really need you to pick up your shoes and do your own laundry. Can you do that for me?" It usually ends better.
I would add another thing to this list. It's important to be gracious and realize that not everyone has read Non-Violent Communication and I can't expect them to behave as though they have. I am only responsible for the way I behave towards them.
I also realize that even if I know better, I've been guilty of breaking these rules. They're hard, they take emotional energy and that's just not something we have in abundance right now. Let's be gracious with each other.
Racial Tension, Justice, Nationalism, and Individualism
We're wrestling with so many heavy topics right now. Maybe God planned it that way. Maybe He said, "I need you to de-clutter your lives for a few months because there's some things you clearly need to think through." I don't know. For some we're wired to have definite opinions, and for others it's a little foggy. Is it disrespectful to kneel for the flag? Aren't we a post-racial society yet? Am I an American Christian or just a Christian who happened to be born in America? Here are some books that made me think harder-
5. Prodigal Prophet by Timothy Keller
This opened my eyes to some of the deeper truths embedded in the story of Jonah. Growing up it was always a story about how if you didn't listen to God maybe you'd get swallowed by a whale. I had no idea that it was chalked full of the themes of nationalism and pride. Jonah struggled with a belief we often share that the people group we happen to belong to is more deserving of God's love and mercy than other people. But we're reminded that He is God of the whole world and we don't get to decide who he showers with blessings. In an all-too-timely way this book also addressed our difficultly with thinking collectively, for the greater good. Individualism is highly regarded in our culture, and we have to remember that sometimes we're called to live counter-culturally.
6. Prophetic Lament by Soong-Chan Rah
I gave a synopsis of this in a previous blog post, so I'll keep it short and sweet. But once again we learn what it means to be exiles and to live as people of the Kingdom within the kingdoms of this world; to act in a way that transcends race and nationality. Dr. Hung helps us listen to the prophet Jeremiah and the words of Lamentations with an understanding of the history it represents. It also proposes the responsibility we have to stop, acknowledge and grieve the sins of our ancestors and our nation, as well as to listen well to those who are still feeling oppressed by the same systems that we might benefit from today. We have tried to "move on" without truly recognizing what's wrong on a community scale. This book will make you think.
7. Wholeness in Christ: Towards a Biblical Theology of Holiness by William Greathouse
I read this book as part of a class for Nazarene Bible College this summer. It addresses the often misunderstood distinctive of the Church of the Nazarene and other Wesleyan-influenced churches of Holiness and Entire Sanctification. While this book was written in 1998- before 9/11, before George W., Barack Obama, Donald Trump, before a pandemic and before the most recent calls for justice, reading it in the midst of this helped me understand holiness in a new way.
Entire Sanctification is not about perfection in the way it's often discussed. It has a lot less to do with wearing earrings, chewing tobacco or skipping the champagne toast at a wedding and a lot more to do with love. Greathouse spends a lot of time on the teachings of Jesus found in The Sermon on the Mount. All of the commandments have to do with loving in such a way that we put the good of others above ourselves. If the opposite of that is putting ourselves first then wouldn't that be the definition of sin? Of wanting better for ourselves and those that are familiar or look and act just like us than for "the other"? And isn't that what racism is? God is very clear he doesn't want us to shrug off sin as though it's no big deal. It's poison. He wants better for us. So in the midst of what might have felt like chaos for some, I felt confident that God was doing His work of sanctifying us and giving us every opportunity to look more and more like Jesus. I know that in the end, that will not go to waste.
8. The Sun Does Shine by Anthony Ray Hinton and
Thank you to my friend Cambria for this fantastic recommendation. It might be one of the best books I'll ever read. This tells the story of a black human being who was wrongfully incarcerated and nearly put to death for a series of murders he didn't commit. He spent 28 years on death row. Even with clear evidence of his innocence and an unfair trial it took nothing short of moving heaven and earth for the state of Alabama to swallow their pride. His character throughout his time in prison makes me proud to be his sister in Christ. I am heartbroken by the statistics I'm seeing about the role that pre-conceived ideas, particularly about skin color, as well as poverty have on stories such as Anthony Ray Hinton's. This story helped humanize those we often dismiss, added to the concern I have over the role of human fallibility in carrying out the death penalty, and has inspired me to priorities charities such as the Equal Justice Initiative, which help provide equal representation for many who cannot afford a motivated and capable lawyer.
9. Bedtime Inspirational Stories
I loved listening to this collection on Audible in the car with my two boys this summer. Each day covers an important historical figure who happened to be black. The readings also included lots of affirmation and empowerment for children. So many times while we were listening to the stories of scientists or political figures, my boys would say, "This is kind of a big deal! How come we've never heard this before!" I hope I can be doing my part to make these stories "our" stories.
If You Just Need an Escape
If you're saying, "Christy, I don't want to think this hard!" I hear ya. Life's a little extra right now. Here are a few books I read mostly as an escape into a different reality, where there weren't strangers fighting with me on Facebook, I didn't have to learn 7th grade algebra again and there were not skyrocketing fatality rates. But...some of them still had a little meat to them as well.
10. Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens
Maybe I'm last to the party...but this was a PAGE TURNER! Please be warned this wasn't a Christian novel. I don't necessarily endorse everything in it. But if you want to get lost in a book, this is it. I will say it did add to that realizing that we get A LOT wrong as humans, and it increased my uneasiness with the death penalty.
11. Giver of the Stars by Jojo Moyes
This is extremely similar to Where the Crawdads Sing in that I could say almost the same things about it. I particularly liked that it was about a group of librarians.
12. Lilac Girls by Martha Hall Kelly
This is like many other WWII/ Holocaust books so it can be disturbing at points. It follows the story of several different women and one is what we'd call "the bad guy", a nurse at a concentration camp. But that up close look at this character caused me to think about the "I would never..." statements we make. What values and belief systems could lead fairly normal, nice people to become complicit in such atrocities? In addition, it felt very real in the way that it did not end with the Jewish women being freed. The long term psychological impact of such trauma does not end with the trauma does. This is important to remember as we deal with people coming out of many situations. We must remember the trauma our friends and neighbors have been through recently and show grace.
13. Look Again by Lisa Scottoline
This was another good escape. It was easy to forget myself in this plot. And once again, I remembered that things are not always what they seem.
Only on Audible
This ones are just for the Audible subscribers because it seems they're not available elsewhere. But they were still worth mentioning.
14. The Cuckoo's Cry by Caroline Overington
This wasn't deep or live-changing. But it was relevant and also a "get lost in" kind of story. Set in Australia, during this current pandemic this suspense story strangely kind of normalized what we're living through. Suddenly a story that included mask wearing, WHO updates, and business shut downs didn't seem odd.
15. Childhood, Interrupted by Sanjay Gujota MD
I absolutely loved and got so much out of this short freebie on Audible. Dr. Sanjay talks openly both as a doctor and as a dad on how to make sure the kids are okay. Here were a few specific tips-
A. Empathize that this is different for them.
B. Understand Cortisol and Oxytocin.
He talks about how much more stress our kids have been under their whole lives than most of us adults. They were born into a post-9/11, post-Columbine shooting world. Overnight everything they'd ever known was turned upside down by a virus that no one really knew/knows much about. They have been hearing that they might not get sick with it but could cause someone they love to become very sick. They're not always good at telling us how that is making them feel. While some stress is normal and even good, this heightened prolonged amount of stress causes a constant high level of cortisol that can be very harmful. The best way to deal with that is increasing Oxytocin-something that's often released in touch. Because we as parents may be the only ones they're able to touch during this time, hugs and cuddles might be more important than ever!
C. Have a consistent routine.
Kids thrive on predictability. While everything outside goes nuts, they take comfort in knowing that their grown-ups will calm the chaos with fairly consistent bedtimes, mealtimes, and rituals and habits, such as an evening walk or a story before bed.
D. Do your research and be smart but sometimes the heart just knows what it needs. He talked about going to check on his mom with his family. He agonized about whether it was safe for them to even go over there, given her age. Everyone masked up and stood apart. But when she motioned the kids in for a quick hug, despite everything he'd read and worried about, he knew it was what they needed to do.
If you made it through all this...thank you! If you read one of these, please let me know! I'd love someone to talk books with! And, if you have some great ones you'd add I'd love to hear your list too!
Comments
Post a Comment